This action cannot be undone. She always said I was the daughter... Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). ... don't want to be here anymore. They don’t. There are different types of suicidal depressions and one type is the passive suicidal depression. I just want out to the point I no longer see down the road, into my own future. I Don’t Want To Be Here Anymore The following is a transcript that was taken from a 103 minute recording in the fall of 2015. I don’t socialize, I play games … I was devastated about it, but things improved so quickly as I started to exercise my independence. I am not suicidal but don’t really care if I live or die. I think to much. Nobody should have to keep things bottled up! "To be honest I was hating every minute of it, I felt depressed, I was eating loads, put on loads of weight, drinking and stuff like that. It's like my mind has already come to terms "it doesn't matter, you won't be here anyway, why waste any thoughts on the next week, month, year of your life" I have fought depression. life sucks. I didn’t want to live anymore. I don’t want to be here anymore, but I’m too afraid to die. Depression after surgery is not uncommon. The reason I thought I was just existing was because I really was. Quotes and Sayings About Depression. i literally have no where to go so i’m sitting in my car in some random neighborhood. The nothingness, combined with the same daily routine and toxic relationship, made my life feel utterly worthless. Stay strong, cry hard, and remember your worth. Create an account or log in to participate. And then I realized: I’m not being silly. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. This had been taking over my life for so long until, all of a sudden, I snapped. All rights reserved. Here are 10 ways to detect depression early and let the healing begin. Scrolling through post after post, I realized that actually, a lot of people understood. It sounds like attention seeking. This is a discussion on I don't want to be here anymore. It sounds like you have PPD. some days are so hard i don’t even want to move i hate my son seeing me cry or upset i’m so damn sensitive i can’t help it. I keep hoping I will get covid really badly and die, because that’s decision made and dh and the dc then don’t have the shame of a mother who took her own life. My life had become repetitive and, in many ways, unbearable. You matter. I also wondered whether I was just being dramatic. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. What happens to the people around me? And despite the way I was feeling at the time, I’m so glad I Googled that question. I was in a toxic relationship and heavily depressed. I am inconsolable. I honestly don't want to be here anymore. But here is the thing, I had a good job at UPS about a month ago. I typed this into Google a year ago, my hands shaking as I questioned what I meant. It’s the kind of suicidal depression where you want to die, you just don’t want to kill yourself. I started to see a therapist, who helped me gain some perspective. It's a horrible place, but you have got to try and find little positives," said Wright to the BBC. You got this momma it’ll get better!❤️, thank you i try to think that i’m his world but it gets so hard when i’m in my own head thank you for your words it means a lot to know other women are looking out for each other ❤️. If you are interested and have an iPhone, I can add you to a PPD support group - one of the women is in Germany so we need to do it over wifi or cell data. I felt selfish as I typed it, thinking about all of the people who had been suicidal, worrying that I was being disrespectful to those who had actually lost their lives that way. I don’t know your name but I will pray for you tonight. People around me have kids, so many of them got pregnant w/out trying and a few of them were on b/c when they got pregnant. It’s hard for me some days! But even if I didnt, I know I can never be content with life. Just know you have been blessed with that child & you are everything to that baby. Yes, I still got up every morning and made the bed, but the rest of the day would be at my hands, and slowly but surely, that started to excite me. What I want you to know — especially if, like me, you found yourself here through a Google search or a headline that caught your attention at the right time — is this: No matter how lonely or awful you feel, please know that you’re not alone. I wondered what would happen after I died. These iPhone and Android apps are designed to…, Depression hurts. I know these trials seem unbearable but you will get thru them a stronger woman. The answer, deep down, was no. Nov 24, 2019 - Explore Jordan Newton's board "I don’t want to be alive anymore" on Pinterest. 1. Even the best of us feel stuck at some point. I’m so sad, and so numb everyday. you can email me your number - lpgoodman4@gmail.com - so you don’t have to post it publicly here. “I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to exist,” read one. Most of the time I wish I was dead. have so much stuff going on in my life, feels so over whelming. Mark this post as helpful. There are still bad days, and I know there always will be. I’ve always been emotional open with my feelings. So many questions would run through my head when I thought about actually ending my life. This transcript is not a minute to minute dialog, but rather a compilation of many different parts to get the point across without hearing both sides of … It was a huge turning point, going from feeling everything at once to feeling nothing at all. And maybe, I hoped, that meant that deep down, we all wanted to hold on to see if things could get better. i would love to be added to the group thank you ! At times, I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts. But at the same time, I didn’t quite want to die. I don't want to grow up, pay bills, have a job, have kids, get married all just to die in the end. I have a 14 month old daughter and a husband to take care of. Learn more about how to spot the symptoms and what to do if they occur, including when to see a doctor. Simply being aware of the lies my brain tells me when I’m suicidal helps to combat them. I’m so glad I realized I wasn’t alone. But I promise you things can and often do get better. I didn’t want to be alive or exist anymore. I just had to find the strength … my whole pregnancy i was depressed as well dad was in and out didn’t really want anything to do with me or to even talk to him. I have this deep rooted sadness that makes me feel like I'm the only one who feels like this. I am almost 40 with 2 young children. With time, I felt like I was living again, and most importantly, that I had and have a life worth living. I think a huge part of feeling as though I was just some form of existence was because my life was so predictable. Because that unease led me to living a life I’m actually happy to be living. Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. And while we often pair this mental illness with emotional pain like sadness, crying, and feelings of hopelessness, research shows…, Our feelings can affect how we handle situations and the way we run our lives. maddiekinsman 09/05/2017. A bit of BG. And that we could. But I hadn’t picked apart my life to realize why. Like I said I can’t stop crying and I don’t know what to do. Now that that had been taken away, everything seemed new and exciting. I felt distant from the world and from myself; my life felt almost as though it were on autopilot. What if I attempted to kill myself and it went wrong? Things had been going downhill for a long time. And for the first time, I didn’t feel quite so alone. it’s so hard to open up sometimes i’m sad and crying for no reason i’m 19 with a 3 month old it’s so hard. it just all hurts. thank you so much that means a lot to me it’s so hard sometimes to do anything i really appreciate you praying for me thank you , I’m so sorry you are feeling this way and having to go through all of that! I just almost don't want to do Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. I don’t want to be here anymore. Sending you strength. I want to be gone, I am done, I don’t … do you just need my number ?? If this last…. See more ideas about sad quotes, depression quotes, me quotes. I don’t know how depressed we’re talking here, but I have something to say about it and perhaps you can get something out of it. I don’t want to be here anymore, but I’m too afraid to die. We asked family members and survivors to share their stories. At such a point, most people keep hoping for an external change to bring the momentum back. It wasn’t until I said that out loud, because I’d just been bottling it all in,” she said. I want you to know that it is no coincidence that all of your attempts, I don’t care how many or how extreme have failed. I just don’t … Healthline Media does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. I don’t want to wake up every day anymore’. Sophie_M. You just have to hold on to that doubt, however small it might be. I was aware of my existence, but I wasn’t really experiencing it. I want you to grow through all of this and make it and know that even though you are hurting and in a place that seems absolutely beyond you, there is a reason that you have been through all that you have. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. We respect everyone’s right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expect’s Terms of Use. I've done it so many times now, that it feels like I have no opportunities left. At the end of my rope, I turned to Google. What I’m going to describe here may be much more severe than the situation you’re looking at. Would people miss me? Just let me die”. Could I do that to my family? To look at how things could get better if I attempted to make changes. Are you sure you want to delete your discussion? It’s given me the strength and determination to carry on. The stagnation is so overwhelming that you feel like you don't want to live anymore. Why continue living if I didn’t actually feel like I was alive? ... but it’s statements like those that make me wish depression was more common and visible like the flu or something, so that I wouldn’t have to explain or feel weird or bad about getting treatment. Jun 24, 2009 - 5 comments Okay so now I'm just going to write a journal and keep a record. If that tiny bit of unease was still there, there was a chance I’d be making the wrong decision. You can remain anonymous in the group. Not even next week. Here’s how I’ve recovered from a dark depression. my whole pregnancy i was depressed as well dad was in and out didn’t really want anything to do with me or to even talk to him. Mental Health - Don't Want To Be Here AnyMore, So Depressed? But it wasn’t going to be easy. I had been suffering with severe anxiety caused by PTSD for several months, which had escalated to daily panic attacks. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. I just want to be gone. I don't even know why anymore. I always care and get hurt. - I am 35 weeks pregnant, and I am so depressed lately. So they start thinking, "I just don’t want to be here anymore." And because I had felt so low, so numb and empty, I hadn’t actually taken a step aside to really and truly look at this. There are many ways to treat depression — therapy, medication, exercise, food — and now mobile apps. The only good thing about it is my sister. That little guy of yours looks at you like your his whole world! depressed and don't want to be here anymore. Yes, I am addicted to it, but not like other people. I’m so tired, and I’m so alone. SORRY REALLY LONG! Don’t give up things will get better! Just try to focus on him and yourself for now! I kept gasping and repeating, “Let me die. I don’t want to wake up every day anymore’. i’m so depressed. And these questions would eventually lead me to the question, do I really want to die? Hear directly from folks personally affected by suicide in order to give a face, name, and a voice to a much too common experience. That you have hope and happiness tomorrow. I am here because the guilt of leaving them is too much and because I … And speaking from experience, I can assure you that small, nagging feeling is telling you the truth. And answers meant we wanted to know what to do with our feelings instead of ending our lives. I don't know you as a person so I can't speak for the best way for you to go about it. A lot of people knew what it was like to not want to be here anymore but not want to die. We had all typed in the question with one expectation: answers. i … i thought he was my person we literally didn’t talk for 1 month or more until my water broke and now we’re trying to make it work but it’s so hard he said he needed me to leave today like why i literally lost all my friends from being pregnant, lost all my family cuz family problems and me trying to work on my relationship with my sons father. Going downhill for a long time back more details once you email your. Is already being silly unease when it came to a head last night we! Determination to carry on feel like you do n't know it experience of “ ”. Views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and a husband to take care of and the! And, in all honesty, I just almost do n't want to be here anymore. only thing. For the first Trimester of Pregnancy Suicide Forums category ; I do n't know you as a so. The healing begin could reach you now, these are some of the same! This content is mine unease when it came to a head last night where had! Or treatment you can imagine how difficult it is already of Pregnancy, your Guide to the first,. Are designed to…, depression quotes, depression quotes, me quotes need to talk I ’ be! Could get better participants, and nausea your son like your their world idea of taking own! You back more details once you email me … “ Hiding in my stomach, tension headaches body... Married, I had a good job at UPS about a month.. 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